Today I am having a party... Not the kind of party that is fun by any means, it is a pity party. This is the one day this month that I allow myself to be weak... THE ONSET: Yesterday was another bad day. I was so sick again; nausea, vomiting, body pain, feeling miserably in every sense of the word. If I could explain it a little...it would be like having the worlds worst hangover on top of having influenza. I feel alone, like no one understands (Even though I would NEVER want anyone to, that would mean they were experiencing the same thing). Most of the time when I am out and about, I put on a smile and try to look as nice as I can so people don't know I am struggling or sick. I can't do it on bad days, because those days I don't normally leave the house. Yesterday and today were just not good days...
For years, many people told me to sue but unfortunately the hospital was somehow tied in to most of the lawyers I called and I was literally told, " You would have to go across the country to find a lawyer who was not affiliated with them in some way & if they took your case, you would never be able to afford it as they would be so cruel and harsh and try to drag your name through the mud". I was shocked but determined. Each time I went to a lawyer, I had to re-live what happened to me which was so painful and then to hear they wouldn't take my case, it made me more depressed as I felt defeated more and more. The doctors got away with this and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't until I talked to a Christian lawyer that I gave up and decided to accept it... they won. I was now on my own to deal with the mess that they created. He told me that if I continued to try to find a lawyer, it would be extremely stressful, and that it would make my situation worse. He said I should just stop trying to sue them and concentrate on healing. So, I gave up the fight. I swore I wouldn't give up, but I just couldn't fight anymore. It was time to accept my fate and learn to deal with what I had been dealt. The next appointment was with a family care doctor told me my pain was due to my pain meds...hmm??? The final appointment was a procedure called an internal ultrasound, the women was so rough I was crying during the procedure. It wasn't until I found a local GI doctor who validated my pain and why it was so bad that I felt validated myself. I broke down and cried my eyes out when she acknowledge my pain...finally someone could see what was causing this! For so long, no one knew what to do with me so they sent me away with no answers.
My mind and body are exhausted. When I started this blog, I was going to start telling my story as it happened but never got the time. I am now wondering if I should just start sharing my story now.
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Jennifer GroverI was born March 1974. Archives
February 2021
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